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Our hearts are not meant to be broken, and anyone who has found themselves in that unfortunate situation can attest to the pain and frustration it causes. Establishing your purpose for dating from the very beginning will help to eliminate a variety of uncomfortable and downright painful situations before they even arise.


If was the year of mindlessly scrolling apps and canceling Zoom datings at the last second, let this year be about having fun and meeting new people again. By coming up with a few dating goals foryou can get back out there — even if "getting back out there" means dating from the comfort of your apartment.

Markesha Millera d psychotherapist, tells Bustle. It includes fun stuff to do if you're casually dating, but also has important tips to keep in mind if you're looking for something more long-termtoo. You might, for instance, want to focus on being more open and honest with the people you date, so you end up making stronger connections. Or you might want to spend the year being a bit braver, by actually answering those Zoom and FaceTime calls, and seeing what happens. Whatever you're in the mood for, here are 21 dating goals forthat just might be worth a dating.

To kick off the new year, make sure your profile is up-to-date. Switch out your photos, answer all the fun questions and prompts. Basically, give your entire bio a refresh, and you goal just have more luck. So you might even want to update it once a month, going forward. If you haven't tried a Zoom or FaceTime dateput it on the bucket list. Sure, it's kind of nerve-racking to watch as the call connects and a stranger's face pops up. But it's also a really easy and fun way to get to know new people, without having to leave home. That said, if your life has been nothing but Zoom dates, goal an outdoorsy get-together, like biking, tennis, walking in a park, etc.

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If you just started hanging out with someone, don't be afraid to ask if they'd like to you on everyday outings, like a trip to the grocery store — especially since typical date venues are limited goal now. It'll help you learn more about them, relationship coach Molly Godfrey tells Bustle, including how well you work together.

And who knows? You dating end up falling for each other in the Trader Joe's snack aisle. If you normally take forever to goal to messagespick a day where you'll purposefully write back within five minutes, Godfrey says, and see what happens.

It's so tempting to play it cool and act like you aren't checking your phone, especially in the early days of dating. But a lot of dating can come from turning the tables, and showing honest interest. With Zoom and all the other ways to stay connected, "there is no reason to shrink your dating pool," Kaye says.

We all have that one "type" we fall for time and time again. But if your love life hasn't been great, make this the year you branch out.

Or if you usually go for the homebody type, go out with someone who's more adventurous. Not only is it good to push past your comfort zone and expand your horizons, she says, you also might realize you've had more than one type all along.

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If you live for all things romantic, don't hold back this year. After you deserve to do whatever strikes your fancy, even if it's "cheesy. If your date is awful, or you sense zero chemistry, it's OK to move along. But there's also something to be said for going on more second dates.

Update your dating profile

If they were generally cool and nice, you might feel sparks on a second date, once they're more relaxed. If you spent all of dating confused, disappointed, or strung along by your romantic prospects, see if speaking up makes a difference. And that means no longer waiting for your matches to guess how you feel. Instead, be honest from the jump about what you're looking forand be honest if things aren't working out, too.

Similarly, if you've noticed a pattern where you hold onto people who weren't fully interested, "resolve to catch yourself making the same mistakes," McCurley says. If someone isn't texting you backwon't plan a date, or won't commit to a relationship, move onto the next one. If moving on is super difficult — or if you've been having a hard time with dating in dating — consider talking to a therapist at some point this year.

Whether it's a goal in goal at the coffeeshop, or someone at the dog park, make a point of being more social from a distance and chatting with strangers, dating expert Emily J. Smith tells Bustle.

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If it feels right, you could even give them yourand see where things go. If your dates have been going well and you dating like being cute, consider sending flowers, their favorite delivery food — whatever you think they might like. Do you have little exaggerations in your profile? Do you tell white lies on dates? If so, vow that you're going to be your goal self this year, Claire AHa matchmaker and dating coach, tells Bustle.

We all want to be impressive, but it's much better to start off a relationship in an honest way — and find people who like you for you.

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It's good to reset. If you're freshly single, or dating for the first time, go ahead and read a few dating booksAH says.

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They'll help you understand the process, as well as what's common and what isn't, so you can make the most of your swiping. Which one are you? Take quizzes online to figure it out, because "knowing yourself helps you know what you want!

It sounds super old school, but consider giving virtual speed dating a try. From the first message you sendto the stuff you talk about on your actual date, try opening up a bit more this year and showing who you are — instead of dating back on mundane chitchat. Before you goal open your laptop, or head out for a socially distant datetake a second to dating in the mirror and hype yourself up. You could goal get motivational and give yourself a quick mantra. It'll help shake away pre-date jitters, so you can meet new people, and make the most of Markesha Millerd psychotherapist. Michael Kayeglobal communications manager for OkCupid.

Rachel DeAltochief dating expert at Match. Molly Godfreyrelationship coach. Julia McCurley, professional matchmaker. Emily J. Smithdating expert.

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Claire AHmatchmaker and dating coach. Dawoon Kangco-founder and chief dating officer at Coffee Meets Bagel. By Carolyn Steber. Update Your Dating Profile.

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Try A Zoom Date. Go On An Outdoor Date. Respond To Texts Within 5 Minutes. Be Cheesy. Go On More Second Dates. Have Goal Communication. Walk Away Sooner. Go To Therapy. Talk To Strangers. Send Flowers After A Date. Stop Telling White Lies. Take A Break.

Hey, if you aren't in the dating to do any of this stuff, that's OK. Read Dating Books. Figure Out Your Love Language. Get More Personal. Chances are this approach will lead to better conversations and a deeper connection. Hype Yourself Up.

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Cut to me chatting to a year-old, yoga-practicing, gluten-free, clinical psychology PhD candidate yes, we did meet, and all things you're supposing are true.


When you're dating someone you like, it's going to make you feel like you're on cloud nine.


Relationship goals are plain helpful.


It is a truth universally acknowledged: dating is a means to an end for us women.